Have you ever gone on a diet and told yourself you’ll cheat only in moderation?
Just one piece of cake a week.
Only at special occasions.
Only when it’s someone’s birthday.
How did that work out?
Didn’t those “special occasions” suddenly seem to multiply? We have a remarkable ability to redefine what counts as special when it’s something we want. Before long, the exception becomes the rule.
Self-discipline is hard. I understand that. So we come up with all kinds of excuses—some of them quite sophisticated. One of the most common is: “You can eat whatever you want in moderation.”
But let’s be honest. Junk food affects us whether we eat it all at once or spread it out over time. If we’re struggling to stay away from something unhealthy, we should admit it.
There’s nothing wrong with saying: “I’m not yet strong enough to completely give this up, so I’m taking it one step at a time.” That’s honest. But don’t turn “moderation” into a philosophy that hides the real issue. The goal should be to outgrow the excuse, not enshrine it. Life is full of catchy phrases that sound wise but often serve as camouflage for weakness or avoidance. We love hiding behind slogans. The habit of avoiding uncomfortable truths doesn’t only affect our personal lives. It also shapes the way we discuss the world’s most serious problems.
After a school shooting or a terrorist attack, headlines often focus on who was killed.
Students.
Babies.
Young people.
Every innocent life is precious.
But let me ask you: Is the blood of a baby any redder than the blood of a middle-aged adult? Of course not. The real question isn’t who was killed. The real question is: How does a person reach the point where they can deliberately murder innocent people? What culture glorifies violence? What ideas are being taught? What values are being celebrated? These are uncomfortable questions. They force us to confront difficult realities.
Yet instead of discussing the root problem, we often shift the conversation to whether the response was proportional or disproportionate, appropriate or inappropriate.
Those discussions may have their place. But first we must face the core issue. How can a society tolerate, excuse, or even celebrate those who glorify death? How can a society teach hatred to its children and then act surprised when that hatred bears fruit?
It takes a village to raise a child. So what responsibility does a society bear when it raises people who celebrate violence?
Are we willing to ask that question? Or are we still hiding behind slogans?
The first step toward growth is having the honesty to confront the root problem rather than hide behind clever slogans.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Mendy
