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Relationships Need Privacy


He responded in detail to every question, describing his tenuous marriage in every detail. He didn’t skip anything. Every bump and pitfall of his rocky relationships was shared with the public.


There was one question the businessman refused to answer. It sparked such an outrage from him that he almost walked off stage. The talk show host asked him: how much is your net worth?


The angry businessman responded: “How dare you ask such a question. That’s private! How dare you poke your nose into my private life!”



No wonder this guy went through such a rocky relationship. His net worth was more valuable to him than his personal relationships! It wasn’t important to him, and he saw no reason to keep it private.


The key to a lasting relationship is keeping a sense of privacy. Recognizing that the things which deserve privacy, stay private. If diamonds would litter the street, their value would be cheapened. Scarcity Is what makes something valuable. Similarly, privacy makes a personal relationship special.


Privacy is a sign of respect. Privacy is what turns the ordinary into beautiful. As simple as it sounds, it isn’t common sense (as the relationship crisis America is facing can attest to).


You see, in a relationship boundaries are crucial. Boundaries are what differentiate abuse from love. When a relationship is founded on respect, love will follow. When a relationship is lacking respect, it won’t take long for the relationship to turn abusive.


A solid relationship is grounded in respect. This is the message behind the traditional custom of the chatan (groom) veiling his kallah (bride). The chatan is signaling his acceptance of the kallah as an individual. She deserves her privacy. Veiling is a sign of respect. “I give you your space”. The beauty of a healthy relationship is the balance between being intimate, yet giving each other room for privacy.


Wishing you a Shabbat Shalom


Rabbi Mendy